“There’s no such thing as perfect,” is a mantra I’ve been repeating to my daughter since the moment she could talk. At first it worked, she started repeating it until one day someone used the word in perfectly (see!) normal conversation and she interrupted to tell them, “Actually, there’s no such thing as the word perfect.”
I had been trying to tell her, “Be you! Love you!” but clearly I had to go back to the drawing board to teach her what I meant.
I realise now I initially started saying the phrase to her out of fear. Being raised by me I worried she would grow up to be an A-type perfectionist with a win at all costs mentality whose self-talk was pretty rough. It took me 26 years to notice this about myself and it’s taken me almost a decade longer to be aware of my brain loops, let alone change them.
This time of year doesn’t help, it’s the ‘new year, new me!’ month and for as many Januarys as I can remember I have set goals; achieving some, falling short on most. And reviewing them each year just leads me down a tiny tunnel of self-loathing and shame.
So I’ve found a work around this year. I’m not making New Year’s resolutions. Instead I’ll try to enjoy this month for what it is: the height of our brilliant summer and family time, with a lovely lack of routine and emphasis on spur of the moment adventures.
I still believe in goal setting – it helps me charter where I want to be. This year I’ll set mine and check in with last year’s a few months into 2025, on my birthday. I’ll let AI do its perfect job and try to embrace the beauty of being an imperfect human.
